Last month I wrote a post called The Ins And Outs Of Rimming. I was delighted with all the positive feedback that you guys gave and its spurred me on to write another post. I'm keeping on the topic of asses because, well, who doesn't like a nice ass?! *raises hand high* I'm going to be repeating some of what I talked about in my last post on safety and hygiene as its always good to keep these things in mind. Practice makes perfect and remembering the facts comes under that category too! Now, lets get eh, down and dirty. Shall we?
There is still a huge misconception by a lot of people that anal sex is only a sexual activity for gay men. Let me be the first to pop that myth bubble, anal sex is for and done by both men and women. This might not be for everyone, but I'm the type of person who will try anything once - with the right partner that I feel comfortable and safe with. Communication is great for all situations in life and this topic is no different. Talking about anal sex or sex in general makes for a happy, healthy relationship -be it a long term relationship or a one night stand. ''Hey, wanna try xyz?'' or indeed my favourite, ''have you a sec to talk? I'd like to try out xyz some time, it sounds fun and sexy! Would you like to give it a try?''. It might be a bit formal, but it gets me where I want to be! If you don't ask, you will never know what the answer is.
So you've suggested anal sex and your partner has agreed, what next? Like I said in my last post, hygiene is so important and keeping STI's away is key. Whoever is joining in the fun under the covers should have a shower before beginning. If you are using a strap on sex toy, make sure its clean too. lovehoney.com is a great online place to browse strap ons. The anus does not have natural lubrication like the vagina does, so you are going to need lots of lube and lots of time. Rimming is a great way to lead up to anal sex, with licking, fingering and generally relaxing the anus so it wont hurt when anything is inserted. Remember that dental dams or cling film is the best way to prevent from STI's and condoms should be used during anal sex also. (Read about it more in my last post here.) If your not too sure about anal, why not try out some small anal toys first, like anal beads or a butt plug. Sexsiopa,ie has a great range and their an Irish company too!
Things might get a little messy, which is perfectly fine. After all, sex is a dirty job sometimes! So plenty of towels and a shower after is always a good idea. No one likes excess lube on their skin/bed/sex toys. If things do go wrong and it gets embarrassing, laugh about it! Nothing ever goes 100% right. Sometimes you fall over, or even bang your head off the headboard. (Or eh, so I've been told. *cough*) Sex is meant to be fun and not something to take serious.
But do remember, this could hurt a little. If it all gets too much, as with any sexual act, saying stop is always ok. You can talk about what happened and maybe try again another time or never again, its up to you. Going slow, communicating what feels good and making sure your both equally enjoying sex is key.
Enjoy, have fun and try to keep quiet! x