This Day Was Made Just For You

I made this! My own photo and all - Proud moment ;)

Sometimes I get down, I mean so down that its dark and kind of smells damp, its that far into the earth that you can only hear your own breathing and little else. Theres not even a thought in your head, its silent and almost unbearable. I felt like that last night. I just wanted to crawl into bed and not move out of it again, shut out the world that has so many people in it who judge others, put them down with negative words and actions. Who look for ways to put fear, doubt, self hate and a whole lot more into those who pass by. Why do they do that? I can only assume its from their own fears, doubts and self hate. But perhaps also cos' their just crazy ass people who need to be isolated from those of us who are nice, normal folk and can be positive and happy in our lives. - Just a thought.

So what did I do to combat the feeling of wanting to hide from the world and never be seen again? Go into the bathroom, dye my hair purple (again) and go on a crazy 'lets tan your entire body!' rampage. Then sit online and read every single BlogLovin' post I had left and finally, write this post. Why do all these things, some even slightly mad? Because they make me happy. And sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do, finding out not only what makes you happy but then putting it into practice. Moving can be a hard thing, physically and mentally pushing yourself to get up and do that one thing. But you have to try, you have to do it. 

Whose this bitch telling me what to do? She doesn't know I feel or what I think. Yeah, your right I don't. I haven't a clue what goes on in anybody elses life or mind. I don't know shit. But all I can do is offer some help or advice. I've been the self hater, the bulimic, the cutter, the sexual identity issues. I've had so much more then I care to admit happen to me and I'm still standing. Why? Because I choose to live, fight on and not let the haters, the people who put me down, who physically and mentally hurt me, who sew seeds of doubt into my mind, I'm not letting them win. Nope, not today. And if I can help it not tomorrow either.

Why the hell am I spouting on about this? Well, I just wanted to say that there are so many people right now feeling like I did. Your never alone in this battle that we call life. Its a total bitch but there are others around you that are willing to listen and help if you'd like it. Theres friends, family, teachers, co-workers, partners and many more that wont judge if you want to tell them something, however small or big it might be for you. 

And next time I'm having a shitter then shit day, I'm going to want this post, want to read back over it and go yeah! Woo, I got this. Or indeed tell myself to fuck off. But it will be here, all the same.

On a happier note, I has lol cat for you. We all know how happy cats make me, especially lol cats.

List of sites and numbers that might be of use:

Aware.ie  1890 303 302 (support for depression and anxiety)
LGBT.ie 1809 929 539 (support for GLBT people, family and friends)
Samaritans.org 01 872 7700 (support for a number of things - just to talk)
Console.ie 1800 201 890 (support of those who have lost loved ones to suicide)
Bodywhys.ie  1890 222 444 (support for those with eating disorders)
RapeCrisisHelp.ie 1800 778888 (for those who are survivors of sexual violence)
ParentLine.ie 1890 927 227 (for those who are parents)

Feel free to leave other numbers you think I have missed or should add in below.

Have a happy day x